UKIP to repeal decimalisation! Well not quite...

After reading Spy Wednesday's latest post, I decided to peruse UKIP's (UK Independence Party) election manifesto. Yesterday evening LCB had brought to my attention their proposal to introduce 'English-only days' in Parliament, whereby those of tartan wearing, leek-eating or nay-saying orange origin can piss off. On these days English MPs, would therefore, comprise an 'English Parliament.' It is unclear whether this the first tentative step to outright independence from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland and casts doubt as to the motives of the Anglo-centric Parliament in granting devolution. So not only does UKIP seek independence from the European Union but also those barbaric Celts.


Under the heading Culture & Restoring Britishness (presumably read Englishness) is the pledge to '[r]ecognise the numerous threats to British identity and culture,' watch out Lost, The Wire and 24. There's also the plan to scrap 'political correctness.' In practice I take this to mean that under a UKIP government, when describing those who formulate their policy, one may revert to the term, retarded. There may be positives to draw from such a regressive measure, when one considers how cumbersome the following statement is in politically correct language; UKIP are visually impaired when it comes to the needs of the average British household.


One of my favourites is the call for the safeguarding of 'British weights and measures (the pint, the mile, etc) which have been undermined by the EU.' And while we're at it why not repeal decimalisation.


Finally UKIP proposes a requirement on 'UK schools to teach Britain’s contribution to the world, including British inventions and Britain’s role in fighting slavery and Nazism.' Maybe they slept through history class and should instead propose mandatory espresso shots for students.


Click the post title to navigate to UKIP's online manifesto or here for the mini version.