Movember 1st is fast approaching. It's time to give something back, and by something, I mean cash. Like the penis of a dead Viagra addict: Cold and hard. That's right folks, it's show-us-your-testosterone-for-a-good-cause-month. (Remember when folk used to do something to raise money? Swim the Channel? Piff. It's the 21st Century, I can raise money by not doing something. And in the case of shaving it's something I don't even like doing. Mwah ha).
But prepare to be shunned by wider society should you forgo the moral imperative that requires you to give money because a post-pubescent can grow facial hair at will! And remember, if you choose to donate to another Movember participant then prepare to be shunned by me!
Of course this year I'm part of a team. Yes, my CarTrawler colleagues have joined together in restoring the Patriarchy for Charity (which I believe should have been our team name) to raise money for what is a most worthy endeavour.
Of course this year I'm part of a team. Yes, my CarTrawler colleagues have joined together in restoring the Patriarchy for Charity (which I believe should have been our team name) to raise money for what is a most worthy endeavour.
Most see this as an opportunity to have a bit of fun whilst doing something worthwhile. But allow me to sober the mood somewhat:
I will unfollow you on Twitter if you do not donate to me.
"He's bluffing," I hear you say, but can you afford to take that chance? How much is it worth to maintain your Twitter follower figure, and what psychological damage will it do if you fall below 1,469 followers? Your self-esteem will thank you!
I will unfollow you on Twitter if you do not donate to me.
"He's bluffing," I hear you say, but can you afford to take that chance? How much is it worth to maintain your Twitter follower figure, and what psychological damage will it do if you fall below 1,469 followers? Your self-esteem will thank you!
As will I! (Probably)
And to all you guys, don't let jealousy bar you from contributing. After all, it is for you we're raising this money. Personally, I don't understand the need to raise money for guys who can't grow a 'tache but then empathy was never my strong point.
"Ahem...Emmett..."
"Yes?"
"The money doesn't go to victims of upper-lip pattern baldness..."
"It doesn't..? Ohhhh"
P.S. By laughing at any of my comedic gems you tacitly agree to donate!
*If a feeling of Deja Vu should overcome you do not be alarmed. You merely read this post last year.
*If a feeling of Deja Vu should overcome you do not be alarmed. You merely read this post last year.
