Movember 1st is upon us. It's time to give
something back, and by something, I mean cash. Like the cock of a dead Viagra
addict: Cold and hard. That's right folks, it's
show-us-your-testosterone-for-a-good-cause-month. (Remember when folk used to
swim across a body of water to raise money?).
Prepare to be shunned by wider society
should you forgo the moral imperative that requires you to give money because a
man can grow facial hair at will! And remember, if you choose to donate to
another Movember participant then prepare to be shunned by me!
"He's bluffing," I hear you say,
but can you afford to take that chance? How much is it worth to maintain your
Facebook friend figure, and what psychological damage will it do if you fall
below 3,000 friends? Your self-esteem will thank you!
As will I! (Probably)
And to all you guys, don't let jealousy bar
you from contributing. After all, it is for you we're raising this money. Personally,
I don't understand the need to raise money for guys who can't grow a 'tache but
then empathy was never my strong point.
"Ahem...Emmett..."
"Yes?"
"The
money doesn't go to victims of upper-lip pattern baldness..."
"It doesn't..? Ohhhh"
P.S. By laughing at any of my comedic gems
you tacitly agree to donate!
